It is hard to believe that it has been almost 2 years since my last visit to NYC, my then-"if you have a great apt-good friends-and-a-real cool-job" favorite city in the world. NYC rarely dissapoints her visitors. I left NY because I wanted see things that I may not have time-energy-opportunity to see if I settled once in NY. Unfortunately my plan of going back there very very soon, just completed her 4th anniversary (it was today 4 years ago that I left NY, telling my friends that I will be back in 6 moths!).
While living in Havana, I have visited NY for a couple of times, mostly to see my friends I was missing a lot or to pick up something from Christine to whom I left almost everything I owned back then--tv, dishes, house furnishings, etc.-- and I was so happy and was in love that I did not feel like I was missing out on anything by not being there. So much that I did not even see Big Apple for 2 years! When I came back to the States, I stayed with my brother in Miami--the city that I don't feel bad about doing absolutely anything! A visit to Jewish recycling center--and other great trift stores-- and Target; beach until I get that reddish bronze (ok sometimes just red, I admit that i have been sunburnt more than one time in my life) tan, hang out with Chanti and my brother Feyzi--and Chantis brother Ray-- recently though, since my last trip to MIA--, take yoga classes and eat well. I mean a real vacation. In NY, I never have time for any of that. Time goes so fast in NY, at least for me, I don't know where time goes really. Three hours go by as if an hour. Awesome!
My last two visits have been for a week each, one in summer and the other one in winter. The summer one was exactly a year after I left NY. All my friends were waiting for me to find out who was this amazing guy that I decided to finish the Master's program there instead of from NY as I told them before leaving. Of course my reasons were deeper than that, yet I hate to admit this but I, then, believed I met the man of my life, the one that I deserved after all these years of dating emotionally unavailable & immature, etc --yet they are great guys, as friends--. Jenry was in control of his life and within the very firts weeks in our relationship he was calling me, Hevita,--my girl!! after the first month living adjacent to my padrino, Orhan, but in my private suite, he had a fight with him--actually I was having a loud chat with Orhan, Jenry got himselved involved: I almost drooled when I see him getting mad at my uncle for screaming at me and telling me to pick up my stuff and that we were leaving this place immediately and that HE Would take care of everything! You have no idea how sexy and comforting those words to a girl who had to take care of herself all by herself up until that point!
And yes, I stayed in Havana longer than what I promised my friends because I was happy there. I loved the fact that I was in a Masters program with 7 other people, with Phds teaching. It was a great opportunity then,a hands on latin american reserach opportunity, learning spanish and learing about cuba! I met Evo Morales when he was just an indegenous leader, saw Fidel Castro speak to a milion people, participated in conferences and events where I met some of the smartest and most knowledgable social scientists in the region. I thought that was it," I am gonna stay and maybe be away from my loved ones for a while but, I gotta do this." And I had a scholarship and time to write and have a house--not a tiny studio like what i rented in East Village--garden, plants, very bohemian countrysideish--. I only wore flip flops back than.
I wish I could dwell on longer about those 2.5 years in Havana! A roller coastal! The worst day of your life can be followed by the funniest moment of the century-it was perfect: I learned so much, and boy, things happened! I discovered that I am even stronger that I thought I was (I know sounds arrogant but I am, I prooved myself, I overcame so many fears and desires) and at the same time, actually I had a heart and could love something non-selfishly. I think Havana made me a better person in many ways and I am grateful to her for this.
One of the saddests moments of the last couple of years (the saddest was when I found out that mom was sick) was when I learned that W was elected again and I knew he was not gonna change his cuba policy and I was not gonna be able to stay and work with a university teaching about cuba to students, living in Havana for six months and living in NY for the other six. While writing my books! Great hubby-great house-great job in progress- What else can I wanted? Nothing and I lost it, just like that.
So what did I do, I accepted a job in Uruguay, instead of going back to NY. A good friend, an Uruguayan, called me and asked me to work with them at a radio station, internationally transmitted, free and uncensored. Awesome job!!!! Independent journalism! And dbf could live there because they spoke spanish (you would think, after being with me for 3 years, he could never live without me and he loved me so much and he did openly say that he would do anything to get a permit and leave and live somewhere other than cuba for a while until I find something to do there) and it was a small country where he would feel like fish out of water and freak out on me. I waited for him for 4 months. He broke up with me over the MSN. 6 months after that he got married, to whom I have no idea.
I dont want this to sound like a regret entry. It is not. What does all got to do with New York? Isn't this the blog where the reader discovers the city as the writer discoveres it for herself? Sometime gofy and sometimes fabolous! Recently she even went through a short depression period--I love being selfish and narcissitic: I never blame myself and can easily getrid of depression caused by ??? This time I was mature enough to see my own mistakes. Not fun!
I am glad I did live outside of NY as much as I did; I can appreciate her but at the same time I can see her flows. I used to think that NYC was perfect. And I dont feel like I had to have all that (great apt-good friends-and-a-real cool-job-awesome boyfriend) in order to live there, well. I felt like NY was overrated this time. Brooklyn looked like Miami beach, construction everywhere. Meat Packing district, I was actually disturbed, I thought I was at Disneyworld, NYC! Things looked too movie like--much more fake tits, this time women got them. East village and Williamsburg Hipsters looked like losers to me who had way too much time in their hands and they used it to look the part! Food, was great but with all these ingredients, hey, anyone can cook something eadible! Better man? hmm, I think overall NY has the most cute guy-and girl--per capita! I love walking around that city and people watching. even though I think some are very superficial but there are many people in NY they are a certain way because they feel like it. Trendsetters: if they dont already live in NY, they visit, at least once a year.
Design and decoration. 10 points. Infrastructre: Subway! Living arrangements: they sucked back then and certainly suck even more now! $1200 per square feet in FLatbush? Crazyyy. My old description of the city has officially changed to: the best place to live if you have a great job and a rent-controlled flat in Manhattan!
These lines explain my first two weeks back in the city. Third week I started seeing people I knew, they recognized me--even though noone likes to accept this in NY but we all like to be recognized in the city where 3 million people live--and many were happy that I was sort of, back, or considering. When I mentioned I was gonna go to Miami, they were kind of sad yet they seemed like they knew I was not going to--unless I had an amazing job at least.
Right now I am in Miami, I exiled myself from inifinity of social activities in NYC. I cant work there as a free-lance writer, I am not that self diciplined! So, here I am, in South Florida, it's summertime. It is raining and Chantal and Feyzi are both at work. I am working (I decided to finish one project at a time) on the Buenos aires guide book. Be done in a week. Then? Cross my fingers for this new job oportunity.
*This billboard is actually a Court TV ad. Their adds are better than their programming for sure.
