La Foule de Istanbul

It is march already. That means I am a month away from being 30. Yet this insane wisdom started to pop up during the most unexpected moments of my life. It is very scary, because it requiers continuum. No, I did not totally lose it. I just had these thoughts, and had to write them down in order to continue what I am supposed to be doing.

I don't think it started during the wedding, but maybe soon after. I left Istanbul right after the wedding, to visit mom in Qatar and if it was not for her, I would never done it. Just the idea of packing and getting into a plane made me sick. The sight of the airport made me sad. The smell of the airplane made me sick. I almost had an anxiety attack in the plane, but thanks to my dear granma I landed fine. I landed but there was one thing in my mind: this lifestyle was not to last longer. I am pretty sure I made up my mind about putting an end to my nomadic lifestyle around the world and staying put for a while at that moment.

Visiting my mother was amazing and seeing that she is happy there, was a relief, both for me and Annemo. I am supporting her decision about taking this position and flying from home finally. Doha is a cute city, she has great friends and coworkers and her standarts of living are much higher than what she has back in Istanbul. While analyzing her, I started to think? Was my expat life worth it? Maybe not.

I am so glad I did everything I had done, everyone I met, all the experiences and travelling. But since I left Cuba, I don't think I am happy--which explains a lot. I don't regret my moving to Southern Cone at all, but maybe it is time to go back now. And even the thought of it scares me shitless because this is the first ever time I think this way.

I had another amazing month back in Istanbul, even when I was all by myself walking down its streets, when I was with my friends (mostly those who I became friends recently, as an adult), when I was on live television talking about what I know best, when I was at the hairdresser, when I was buying vegetables, etc. I started to feel like this is where I eventually will come back to live, so maybe my friends are right (both Asli and Ayca kept telling me how I should come back and built a stable life before it is too late), it may be too late when I shlep my fabulous ass back here in five years, as I always thought I would.

I look at the pictures, I don't look as happy as in the ones taken in Turkey, do I?

My Friend's Big Fat Turkish Wedding

Soon after the bachelerotte party, and an amazing February 14 (I had absolutely no plans nor expectations, but the way my night had shaped itself, in such a poetic way, it was my best so far. It was so good yet I rather save it in my memory instead of spilling it here, sorry!) and Asli's first wedding (where she signed the papers) came her Real Wedding day!

I woke up to see that it was raining like cats and dogs (not great news considering the fact that my hair had to stay intact all night long and I had to get it done early enough so that I can be with Asli when they were doing her hair!). I left for my hairdresser around 2 o c'clock, and once again realized that hair dressers love weddings. The whole salon was in my service, I dont know why they were so excited about making my hair (it is not even my wedding) and while doing it, they would say: "you are going to be a great bride one day, only if you meet someone, maybe at this wedding, no?" I explained nicely that as my best friend decided to marry another of my best friends, there was not any way I was going to meet someone new at this wedding and plus, I really was not looking forward to get married yet. I saw the terror in the nail girls eyes, she was petrified, she probably was thinking: poor girl, she is almost 30 and has no man! I also made sure that they did not perform anything frilly on my hair (my idea was rockabilly chic, in retrospect, I might have looked half butchy)

I left there, and thanks to Annemo, I had a huge umbrella, made it home without getting wet, I was afraid all that gel that they sprayed will melt. Luckily got a cab and again, luckily crossed to the other side of the town in less than an hour. Aslis was waiting for me at the hotel's hair dresser, together with her american college mates, who all were getting ready but always had a moment to go next to her and say "Oh my god! You look gorgeous!" which made her a bit uneasy, and the situation so girly girl, I thought I was going to vomit soon. Thank god the maitre d' brought some champagne and we all had some, to relax. It worked!

When the hair and makeup ended (I even got make up that night, I thought I would like it, but the makeup artist as a real turk, had to over paint myface, as a rule, I had to take it off slowly during the wedding party) we went upstairs to her room to dress her up, and I really wanted to help my friend, but the other girls made it impossible for me to stay there, so I chose to leave and chat with her husband and other friends. I looked really hot, with my red dress, vintage gold sandals and my hairdo!




The party was a lot of fun. I always enjoy seeing all my highschool friends, and thank myself for leaving them 10 years ago and doing it my way. I look at them and see myself with them, always dissatisfied with life, and I really don't regret leaving all that behind and building my life the way I saw fit back than, and now. I also see that I am now ready to come back, maybe for good, and live again in my country, because now I dont have to hang out with anyone from that group that once I thought it would be so hard to break from (and in some cases, I dont even have to worry about it, they dont even want to hang out with me anyways!).

After dancing all night, and chatting with those I still like, getting buzzed, dancing more, davul and zurna (a turkish classic, drums and flutes anouncing the wedding to the whole town kind of thing but we were inside a five-star hotel) and more drinking, we left the bride and groom in peace, and finished our night.